God’s Kindness in the Fire

In a hospital in Newport Beach, CA, a bewildered Gail Mays sat in a chair as a nurse knelt to look into her eyes. The nurse gently informed her, “I’m so sorry, Gail; your husband Steve has passed.” Gail’s eyes welled with tears as she tried to comprehend the news. After yet another back surgery, her husband had been healing well and in good spirits the night before. Filled with God’s compassion, the nurse added, “I listened to Pastor Steve all the time on the radio. It changed my life.” It was a testimony Gail would hear often: Steve had been vulnerable and open about his struggles and how Jesus had changed his life. In addition to teaching a flock of 9,000 at Calvary Chapel South Bay in Gardena, CA, Steve’s radio show, Light of the World, was on more than 300 stations.

God had providentially prepared support for Gail and the entire church that very day. Gail’s longtime friends Jean McClure and Sandy MacIntosh were at the hospital with her when she received the news. Pastor Greg and Cathe Laurie, who had recently lost their son, also arrived to stand with Gail. “Don [McClure] was on a flight from Mexico that morning, and he was going to preach at the church that night,” recounted his wife Jean, “so that Steve could recover.” Instead, Don and Mike MacIntosh met with the church staff and ministered to the grieving congregation, staying late to pray and counsel.

“My daughter-in-law is an RN at the same hospital,” Jean explained. “She learned that, when Steve died, there were two Christians preparing his body for the morgue who were singing worship songs over him. God fit all the pieces together so perfectly; it was the special care of the Lord. Like a tender touch from Jesus.”

Deep Mercy & Comfort

Looking back, Gail traced the mercy of the Lord’s hand. “Steve was being released that day. If he had come home with me and died at home under my care, I wouldn’t have made it. I would have ended up in a nuthouse. But it was clear that even the whole hospital in Newport Beach couldn’t have saved him.”

Gail had been Steve’s caregiver many times. “Pastor Chuck called him ‘Job,’” Gail noted. Steve had endured nearly two dozen surgeries—including five on his back and a severe one on his leg, which had to be cut in two and reattached. “Steve had a white coat made for me with ‘Dr. Gail’ embroidered on the front,” she recalled with a smile.

Sitting alone with the Lord, Gail prayerfully realized: I’m not done. You took Steve in a very peaceful way. He was gone in an instant, waking up in heaven. “I needed that from the Lord,” Gail noted, “to confirm that I was going to make it through this. I had to go through the grieving process and figure out my new life.”

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me (Psalm 23:4). True to His Word, the Lord walked with Gail through the next weeks and months in a very personal way.

Five days later, in another foreordained appointment, Gail was slated to attend a pastors’ wives conference in Murrieta. Though some advised her to cancel, she sensed that the Lord had a plan. She and the other board members sat in the front row to be available to any pastors’ wives who needed encouragement. During the afterglow, someone shared a word about being out in the ocean. A poor swimmer, Gail suddenly had a vision of herself in the frightening waves. For the last five days, nothing had made sense. There was nothing to hold on to. The world had turned upside down, and all was chaos, grief, and sadness.

Having ministered during afterglows for decades, Gail testified, “For the first time—in my most vulnerable, saddest, hardest place I’d ever been in my life—I knew this [word] was for me.” At her side, Jean whispered the same: “That’s for you.” Gail nodded; then Jean and Karyn Johnson put their arms around her, lifted her up, and she stood. “It was something so supernatural” as the Holy Spirit came upon her, filling her with God’s love and comfort. As Jesus promised: And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever (John 14:16, KJV).

Consolation and Love

Soon after, God sent special consolation through Gail’s friend and mentor, Kay Smith. Kay’s husband, Calvary Chapel founder Pastor Chuck Smith, had passed away almost exactly a year before Steve. Janette Smith Manderson—Kay and Chuck’s eldest daughter—called: “She said, ‘My mom wants to talk with you about Steve’s passing. We’re all widows now.’ I thought, Am I dreaming? By this time, Kay had stepped out of ministry and was getting weaker.”

When Gail arrived, Kay invited her to sit down and said, “We’re going to sit together and have popcorn. Tell me everything that happened.” It was just what Gail needed. As she relaxed and recounted the events in a safe space with Kay and Janette, Gail found deep comfort. They spoke, laughed, cried, and ate popcorn together as friends. “It was so healing,” Gail fondly remembered. “Somebody understood my extreme need. I didn’t know where I was going or what I was supposed to do with my life. And God brought Kay.”

As Gail was leaving, Janette commented, “We widows have to stick together.” Kay looked at Gail and said, “You know, that’s true, Gail. We widows do need to stick together. We need to comfort each other as only we can.” That comment prompted Gail to pray about how she could help other widows, as Kay and Janette had helped her.

That first year, Karyn Johnson, Jean McClure, and widow Glenda Kaser called regularly to check on Gail. Others took Gail’s role at CC South Bay, so she waited on the Lord. After a year, her friends urged Gail to sell her home and move to the Murrieta area, where she could be among friends and near her daughter. It would all become part of God’s continued work through her.

A New Calling

Gail had assumed her ministry days had come to an end; however, the Lord had another plan. Gail recalled, “The Lord reminded me of His promise in Jeremiah 29:11, which says, ‘I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

Soon, Gail realized God was calling her to be a “trailblazer” for widows’ ministry in the Calvary Chapel family. “There are many widows in our movement now,” she reflected. “Of the original pastors’ wives board that Kay formed, three of the five of us who remain are widows now.” Gail started a new ministry called The Widow's Might. “It’s a play on words,” she explained, “Not mite like a coin—but rather how God will be mighty in the life of the widow who knows Him.” At various conferences, retreats, and gatherings across the country, Gail has spent the last decade ministering to thousands of widows and women in various seasons of life.

“It’s the joy of my heart to be involved with other widows in helping them find their way after the death of their husbands.” She hosts a monthly Bible study and potluck for widows in her area, as well as a weekly gathering with her core team of 15 pastors’ widows who serve alongside her at conferences and events.

Contemplating her own journey, Gail noted, “Jesus has definitely become more real to me since Steve’s passing—it’s a greater sensitivity to hearing His voice and feeling His touch.” She often shares with widows that “Jesus takes on the role of husband. Jesus is my Maker and my Husband.” For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is His name (Isaiah 54:5a).

At one gathering, a widow responded that she missed arguing with her husband. Gail smiled and said, “Well, don’t you do the same with Jesus?” She wanted the women to understand that Jesus was even more a part of their lives than their husbands were, and they could be transparent with Him and lean on Him always.

“The ministry is really about widows helping widows,” said Gail, citing 2 Corinthians 1:3-4: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. “I also tell them that God was not done with me when He took my husband, but rather expanding my ministry to include widows and share His comfort with them.”

Kay taught her young board that, in times of trouble, they should “find a Scripture and set up housekeeping on that promise,” Gail recalled, sharing her special verse: And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son (Romans 8:28-29a).

“I’m called according to His purpose,” Gail reflected. “I’m being molded and shaped into the image of Christ.” Though it would be easier for Gail and the other board members to retire in their latter years, Gail said, “We are still going strong, still meeting, still ministering to women together, still serving Jesus.” She added, “God poured so much into me over the years; I feel the responsibility and the privilege to pour into others as much as I can—to carry on the work. There are so many hurting people. They need Jesus.”

Steve’s Legacy of Faith

Left: People arriving for services at Calvary Chapel South Bay in 2003.

Right: Pastor Steve Mays shares with his congregation. Photos by Tom Price

Steve spoke openly about traumatic childhood abuse that sent him on a downward spiral of rage, drugs, and self-destruction. Christ turned his life around, but he would end up paying the physical consequences for the rest of his earthly days. Many have been encouraged by his honesty and faithfulness in suffering.

“Some of you have been through so much in your life. You’ve been so beaten up. Satan has worked overtime. People have hurt you. You have lost heart,” Steve said in a teaching called Faith Which Suffers. “Joseph named his son Manassah, ‘God has taken my toil.’ God saw the things I have been through, and He has made me forget all my toil. I want to encourage you: Let it go. Childhood trauma … I’ve been molested. OK, it happened. But you can become a victim of a victim and ruin your life. Or you can accept it and say, ‘God give me the strength to overcome. Help me to go through this and reach out and help others. Lord, take away the pain.’ Don’t bury it. Give it to God.”

Left: Fellowship after the service with Pastor Steve.

Right: Pastor Steve prays after the service with an expectant mom and her family. Photos by Tom Price

Two years before his passing, Steve wrote a poignant book, Overcoming (2012), on walking with God through suffering. His friend and well-known Christian author Joni Earecksen Tada, a quadriplegic, wrote in the foreword: “During a visit to my office, he shared his story with me—a journey through myriad surgeries on his back, neck, and hips. Watching him smile through the pain, I thought, Here’s a man who understands affliction … a brother who abides in the fellowship of my Savior’s sufferings. … I was drawn to Steve’s tenacious confidence in God, his joyful outlook, and his love and respect for God’s Word. … Both of us struggle with affliction, but we keep relying on the hope Jesus Christ offers every day.”

Joni cited Isaiah 45:3, which says, I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places, that you may know that I, the LORD, who call you by your name, am the God of Israel. She added, “Whenever I … feel the dark shadow of pain overwhelm me, I find heavenly treasures in such darkness: rock-solid, unshakable hope. And so do Steve and his wife Gail.”

Discouragement was one of the hardest struggles caused by his chronic pain, Steve confessed, “a handicap that no one can see,” as Joni told him. Over the years, he offered to resign because of his many health issues, but the board “said they would take me as I am.” He added, “So I have settled it in my heart that my discouragements are really God’s opportunities to shine and be glorified in my life. … When I do that, I feel that I have really done … what the Lord has asked of me. So I’m content with who I am.”

In his subsequent book Overwhelmed by God and Not Your Troubles (2013), Steve wrote: “When we begin to let God overwhelm us with His love, grace, power, Spirit, and provision, we will see Him work in and through our lives in a tremendous way.”

Pressing on in the Race

***Pastor Steve Mays and his wife Gail.*** Photo by Tom Price

Both Steve and Gail found an example in the apostle Paul, who was devoted to the Gospel of Christ no matter what adversity he faced: beatings, shipwreck, persecution, and the like. Sharing a message at the 2025 Calvary Chapel Association Pastors’ Wives Retreat, Gail encouraged the women with quiet strength. Petite in stature yet powerful in hard-won wisdom, she read Paul’s words:

One thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13b-14

“Keep pressing on,” she urged the assembly. “Absolutely nothing is going to stop the work of God. That brings me great strength and great courage—and this spiritual drive. I’m driven to complete the race that God has before me. Are you driven to complete the race that God has set before you? Nothing is going to stop the work of God. No person, no persecution, no personal crisis, no peril, no pain.

“How can we do this? Paul tells us three things: forgetting the past, reaching forward without fear, and pressing toward the goal of His calling. All these verbs are present tense: So keep forgetting, reaching, and pressing toward the goal of Jesus Christ in your life.”

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Philippians 3:20

Thank you for reading! If this story inspired you, we invite you to partner with us in continuing the ministry God started over 27 years ago. We appreciate your prayerful consideration in joining us to reach more souls for Jesus.

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Gail & Steve Mays, Part 3: Pain, Purpose, and Pressing On