Grace is a word we all love to hear. But do we really know what it means? Without it, our lives are dry and dusty. But when grace comes, it transforms our lives into something rich and beautiful. Follow along as we share insights from Pastor Chuck Smith’s groundbreaking book, Why Grace Changes Everything.

A Love Relationship with God

Have you ever pondered the significance of the simple phrase, “God loves you”? It may embody the most important truth anyone can grasp—that God has called us into a loving relationship with Himself. Our part is simply to trust and believe in the deep care and compassion God freely extends to us.

How beautiful it is to experience the freedom and joy of a love relationship with God! Yet how sad it is that there are so many who insist on relating to God in a legalistic way. Their righteousness is based on what they can do for the Lord, instead of what He has already done for them. They carry around a huge list of “do’s and don’ts” to keep them bound to God.

I am no stranger to that depressing kind of negative righteousness. As I was growing up, I considered myself one of the godliest kids on the block because of what I didn’t do. I didn’t smoke. I didn’t dance. I didn’t go to shows. I was taught that such things were utterly sinful. So not only did I avoid those things, I also believed I was far more righteous than my weaker friends who indulged in them. I thought I was much more holy than the preacher’s kid, who was known to pick up old cigarette butts and smoke them on the sly. I was above all that, and I was sure God noticed.

Still, I had a big problem. Although I didn’t go to shows, I longed to see Snow White, so I felt condemned. I would get saved again every Sunday night and would promise God that next week was going to be different. I was lucky if my relationship with Him made it past breakfast Monday morning.

Because my righteousness was a matter of willpower and effort, before long, my relationship with God became a tremendous strain. Every summer I would attend our church youth camp. On the last evening we would build a huge bonfire and gather around to sing worship choruses such as “I Surrender All” and “I Will Follow Thee, My Lord.” During this emotionally charged time we were asked to write out on paper either an area of our lives that we wanted God to change or a commitment we wanted to make. Each of us would then take a pinecone, wedge our paper commitment into it and toss it in the fire. As I watched my pinecone burn, tears would run down my cheeks. I would tell God that I wanted my life to be consumed by His love and that I wanted to give myself completely over to serving Him.

As we left the bonfire, we were directed to a little table where camp leaders had laid out a stack of cards that read, “I promise, by the grace of God, that in the coming year I will never enter a theater, I will never smoke a cigarette, I will never drink an alcoholic beverage, I will never use foul language, and I will not attend any dances.” We would sign these commitment cards and carry them around with us in our wallets all year long.

I was careful to keep all my commitments, but I also ended up in a draining, legalistic relationship with God. I had very little joy in my walk with Christ because I was tied to God by a contract. I couldn’t break my agreement; hadn’t I signed and dated it, and didn’t I carry it around with me in my back pocket? No, I was committed to keeping this agreement and I fiercely believed that God owed me something for my efforts. God had to be good to me—at least, better to me than He was to those who didn’t follow through on their commitments.

Imagine my shock then when my friends who weren’t nearly as righteous as I won the contest where we tried to guess the number of jelly beans in the jar! I would grow angry and ask, “God, why didn’t You bless me? You know I deserve to win more than they do.” The more I thought about it, the more confused I became. Here I was keeping my end of the bargain, yet God seemed to pay no attention at all. I constantly felt let down.

Every once in a while, of course, I would get honest with myself and begin to see that I wasn’t nearly as righteous as I liked to think. I knew that my attitude was not as it should have been. There were moments when I knew I had thoroughly fallen short of God’s will for my life. I recall a time in high school when I snuck into a show. For six months afterwards I lived in utter condemnation because I had broken my commitment. Often I would give up on the idea that God would ever see fit to bless me. There were a lot of things I wanted to pray for, but what right did I have to ask Him for anything when I had failed Him so miserably?

This heavy burden of righteousness by works carried over into my early ministry years in Tucson, AZ. It didn’t take long for me to realize that there had to be more to ministry than what I was experiencing, more to a relationship with God than what I enjoyed. To make matters worse, I would watch the meetings of some of the major evangelists of the day as they passed through the state, and see tents jammed with people being saved and others experiencing what seemed to be miraculous healings.

I longed to see that kind of power evident in my own life and ministry. Therefore, I earnestly began to seek God with fasting and prayer out in the Tucson desert. I would take off alone to wait on the Lord with only a jug of water, a Bible, and a notebook for company. I begged God for His blessing, His power, and His anointing on my life. After a round of such spiritual discipline, I would work up a sense of excitement, believing that God was about to bless our church because I had fasted and prayed. I could hardly wait for the next service to see what God was going to do.

Unfortunately, I grew so weak from fasting that by Sunday I could hardly stand up behind the pulpit. My mind would wander so much that I could barely present a coherent message. The people would fall asleep, and I would feel devastated. Here I had expected a tremendous move of God—and instead a chorus of snoring broke out. I would get frustrated and angry and think, But God, haven’t You seen how I have fasted and prayed? Surely You ought to bless this church—and me too, while You’re at it!

I did not understand at the time that my fasting and praying were attempts to obligate God, forcing Him to do what I wanted. I thought if people could just see miracles like those described in the book of Acts, they would be convicted about the reality of Jesus Christ.

But later I discovered that the ultimate witness we can offer the world is the love we have for one another, a love that flows from the very heart of God Himself. Conforming to rules and regulations simply can’t produce that kind of love relationship. We can try to impose the law on our relationships, but God’s love is the only way to gain the stability and security we long for. The Bible tells us that love is the fulfillment of the law. In fact, when asked which was the greatest commandment, Jesus replied that it was to love the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Love—not the law—is the key to our relationship with God and with one another.

In our next installment, Pastor Chuck continues to explore the beauty of grace.

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